Today I intend to talk about a topic I had been thinking about and meditating over for a long time. It is a subject that not only concerns me personally, but complicates lives of many.
Today we are here to talk about heterosexual men. Heterosexual people are people who are attracted (sexually speaking) to the members of the opposite sex. Perhaps, a layman’s term “straight” is easier to understand.
Homosexuality (the opposite to heterosexuality, where people are attracted to the members of the same sex) has been all along the world history a matter of debate. Specifically so, if it occurs among men. Different societies in different epochs of history have reacted in different ways towards homosexuality, sometimes accepting, sometimes rejecting, sometimes punishing, sometimes celebrating. However, before the advent of Abrahamic religions, homosexuality was not discriminated against as widely (ancient Greece, ancient Persia, ancient India, ancient Anatolia all historically accepted homosexuality in one way or another). This phenomenon is a bit strange because the Abrahamic books like the Old Testament contain a lot of texts that attest to the widespread acceptance of homosexuality in the Judeo-Arabic culture. Hence, I do not really understand how and why things suddenly went wrong.
Well, anyway, my aim is not to prove how natural or how historically accepted homosexuality is/was, but it is to discuss something that the relatively recent discrimination of homosexuals has caused to harm the heterosexual people, well… to harm the heterosexual men.
One thing is certain wherever the followers of Abrahamic religions went they carried with themselves their ideas against homosexuality. Christians more so than Jews or Muslims. Sounds crazy? Well, a keen look at the history will show you the truth.
Well, so these European “gay haters” invaded large chunks of the planet post the Industrial revolution. And they imposed their ideas everywhere. Including the discrimination against homosexuality and the homosexuals. Now, as the homosexual populace realized that they were under scrutiny and possibly in danger, they went underground. They hid themselves. What happened next? The persecutors began looking for subtle signs to identify the homosexuals. Let’s not forget that the wrath of the European homophobes fell largely on men. Female homosexuality is less visible, has been less discriminated against (the reason being men were always able to force themselves on women irrespective of these women’s orientation). So, let’s come back to our subject of the “subtle signs” that the homophobes looked for in order to identify the homosexuals. These signs could be the way of speaking, the body language, the appearance, the sense of dressing etc. And the more “well groomed” a man was, the more was the possibility of him being considered gay. The reason was that the majority of men were shabby, smelly, with unkempt hair and beard, badly dressed, with dirty nails etc. So these men developed a subconscious or conscious idea that the men who were not like them in their habits and appearance cannot be of their orientation. These homophobes did not need to maintain their appearance or style to get sex from women because women generally were not in a position to say no. On the other hand, gay men had to “work” upon themselves to get the attention of other gay or bisexual men. Hence, in the psyche of these western invaders the well groomed man became synonymous to the homosexual man.
Without boring you with more historical information and analysis I will fast forward the timeline to the nineteen nineties. Now the world has changed a lot, the western world at least. They have inseminated their ex colonies with their infectious ideas but they are now cured, well… somewhat… or so it seems. The homosexual men have started to show up. They are now treated with some respect if not equal. But still the majority still is heterosexual. And the majority still enjoys more acceptance. Now the gay are not massacred or executed or tortured in most parts of Europe, but they still cause some shame to their parents, colleagues, friends, and relatives. And still the majority tries to identify them using the same “subtle-signs” method that was used in the middle ages. And if not gay, a man does not want to “look gay”. He does not want to cause shame to people around him. He does not want to jeopardise his prospects of mating with a female. So, what does he do? He takes lessons from the genetic memory. He begins to live and dress like his medieval ancestor. He chooses to live a life that is shabby, smelly, without style, and without a sense of dressing. Moreover, the western women of our generation have also begun liking such men as their genetic memory perhaps tells them that these men are virile and hetero with whom they have a possibility of mating.
I chose to talk of this as I have lived/worked with and suffered first hand the assumptions of western men and women that a certain man, because he cares about his appearance, his hygiene, his body, is gay. And in Europe it is very difficult to find a heterosexual man who is clean, who is well groomed, does not smell of sweat, and has a well maintained physique. Don’t get me wrong, there are always exceptions with every norm in everything. But I am talking about the majority.
And these men and women no matter what corner of the world they go to, they always carry their “scale” to measure “gay-ness” of people around. Most do not understand Asian culture, Latin American culture, North and South American culture and judge men from these lands with the same scale. According to my observation the North American population has been the non-European people most inspired by this European mindset. However, it is still less common to come across a heterosexual man in the US who is smelly, dirty, and shabby like European heterosexual men.
The most common things that will make Europeans think that you are a gay man are:
1. You care for your physique, exercise regularly, do not shy away from showing it off.
2. You use fragrances on a daily basis.
3. You shave or groom your facial hair regularly.
4. The hair on your head (if you have it) is well maintained or shaved off.
5. You often click pictures of yourself.
6. You do not make funny faces while appearing in photos.
7. You shave or groom your body hair.
8. You don’t behave like a dog in heat when you see an attractive woman.
9. You do not have a girlfriend.
10. You do not indulge “openly” in sexual affairs with women.
Now there are other criteria too. And certainly there must be many I am unaware of. But the above mentioned ones have been used to judge me (I am not gay) and many friends and acquaintances of mine who I know are heterosexual. Well, European homophobes, if you are reading this, try to understand that other cultures do not fear homosexuality like you do. And what about bixsexuality? How would you mark the bisexual men? And now that you have reached the end of this write up/rant/analysis, go ahead and take a bath. It won’t really make you gay.
— Rishiraj
LAMPS OF DESERT 